He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
