Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
