So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
