can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
