It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.