Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The best revenge is premature balding
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
