What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
