im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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