hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
