You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
