You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize