Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
