I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
