the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I believe in your delicious
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
