just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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