mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
