Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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