Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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