i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Randomize
