We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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