he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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