i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You pole danced in your parka.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
