I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
