Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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