My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
