What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
