i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
