My pussy is not your playground.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
