You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Randomize
