Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize