I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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