How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.