You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt