Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.