i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
two words...techno handjob
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
