I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
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i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
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I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?