Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall