I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.