I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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