Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
