I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
