Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
