I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
