THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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