The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
