Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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