True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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