If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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