wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize