My balls are so social today.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
