She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
