So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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