someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
