Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
