Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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