Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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