My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
