Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
