Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
