i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
