Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
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have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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