hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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