i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dick very happy bro
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
