This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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