This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
