this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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