Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
did i walk over a car last night?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
