where am i from again
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
