I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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