i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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