Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
