I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
