if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
be right there i have to get my cape
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
