dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
