Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize