I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize