I cockslap morals
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I want to be your penis for a week.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
