I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
