You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
