they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
