So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Watching her eat just hurts me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
